A customer came into our shop recently and asked if I could recommend some patterns and some places to fish them on the Logan River in Northern Utah. I’ve learned that before I send someone out, I want to know something about their skill level. I don’t want to send a rookie into fast water or a bank fisher into a wading stream. So I asked, “How experienced are you?” He looked at me and half-smiled and replied, “If by ‘experienced’ you mean, ‘Does my wife get mad because I fish too much?’, then, yeah, I’m pretty experienced.”

So I started asking fly fishing friends and customers how they would know they were “experienced fly fishers.” I’ve compiled their wisdom and urge you to adopt the position that serves you best at any given moment.

You know you are an Experienced Fly Fisher when:

You can’t put groceries in your car because there are too many rods and reels.

You spend more money on fishing than on babysitters.

The old-timers smile and nod when they see you on the river; some even ask for your advice!

You schedule your sick days to coincide with the Salmon Fly hatch.

You've got the scars to prove it.

You are content to teach someone else how to fish and can get satisfaction watching them catch fish.

A “Grand Slam” has nothing to do with baseball or Denny’s restaurants.

You’ve got more fishing hats than your wife has purses.

You’ve driven off the road while scoping out a section of river.

You use the same knife to clean fish and eat an apple.

You carried a fly rod into Sea World.

You take your dog to the river and you both use the same pee tree.

You’ve been kicked out of the zoo for fishing in the koi pond.

You can tell the truth and no one believes you.

There are teeth marks on your fly rod.

Here’s to all the ‘experienced’ anglers! May our experience grow faster than the lies we tell!

The Nekid Fisherman